I've recently noticed a disturbing tendency that might be gradually increasing as I grow older. Maybe it's one of those things that you only notice as you grow older; it's possible I've been doing it my whole life. All I know is that in the recent past I seem to be in the habit of addressing inanimate objects as if they were... animate. I personify normal household objects. Often with a good deal of hostility.
I'm not sure whether I'm more worried that it's a recent development or that I could have been doing it my whole life without noticing. Maybe this sort of thing starts innocently enough, say one day you lose your cell phone. If you're like me it's with you all the time, so when you can't find it panic starts setting in. While your mind is busy trying to figure out where your body left it last, your body starts doing what it should do when a dear friend like cell phone goes missing: calls it.
"Cell phone! Where the heck did I leave you? Get over here now!"
And so forth. If you progress from there you may reach a point, like I did the other day, where you angrily inform an old lady's walker that it is without a doubt "a menace to society." To be fair, this is probably not true. That walker probably did a lot of good for its owner, but the thing pinched my finger and wouldn't let go! And it refused to be stacked properly like all the other luggage. So after being on the wrong end of the annoying stick from that thing for too long, my emotions got the better of me and i let loose.
To me the funniest thing about this was my choice of insult at that point in time. Insulting an actual person by calling them a menace to society is odd enough. For an old lady's walker, it borders on being... pretty weird. I guess the moral of the story is don't cross me if you're an inanimate object, cause I have a sharp tongue.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
My Quiet Life » negative nelly
I don't mean for this to be a negative nelly, just some of my newest song lyrics. Sometimes I find enjoyment in darker lyrics, and I happen to enjoy these. Any interested parties who haven't already are invited to check out my other posted lyrics at http://myspace.com/jerpenner Criticism welcome
On the night my house burnt down
All the neighbours gathered round
They were drawn to me by sounds
Of my house burnt down
Oh the children stared that day
As my life smoldered away
Into hues of black and gray
Into black and gray
I remember feeling young
Years ago when love was fun
Not a battle to be won
Back when I was young
Me and Judy had a girl
Wispy hair and fingers curled
Diamond eyes that changed my world
With her fingers curled
Though she only lived to three
Clinging to her memory
We will never let her leave
She will never leave
Every day the edges hurt
In our kitchen and our words
And it's hard to make things work
When the edges hurt
On the night my wife left town
I found some matches on the ground
At the spot where I was found
When my house burnt down
Thursday, March 8, 2007
federal court of canada decisions
I've recently started using Google as a songwriting tool, and I am now using it as a blog naming tool. I type in the subject material of the blog, and the first title that google gives me is my title. We'll see if anything more exciting comes up.
So I have decisions to make. My good friends Jeremy Eisenhauer and Sheree Plett want me to tour with them all summer long for 3 months. mid-May to mid-August, from BC to Quebec and back. I really want to do this, and they really want me to do it. But, there's a conflict. There's this cover band based out of Vancouver that is planning on touring to Asia to play in ritsy hotels. I've been playing with them for about a month and they REALLY want me to be their keyboardist. They are planning on being ready to leave by June, and plan on doing this for quite a while. They'd go to one hotel for 3-4 months, come home for a several-week break, and then go out again to a different country. While at the hotel they'd be playing about 3 hours a night, 6 nights a week, with the rest being free time.
They might not actually leave by June though. They first have to get a promo video together, which would be done by the beginning of May if all goes well, and then an agent needs to book them a gig at their first hotel, and the agent could take 2-3 months to do that. They could conceivably not be leaving until August, but their goal is to leave in June. I've proposed to them that they just wait for me, since it's possible that they wouldn't leave until i'm back anyways, but they figure I would need to be around to practice with them anyways. So they're definitely asking me to NOT tour this summer. By the way, if I go with them, I'll be doing that for a while, I'm not sure how long. If I don't do it, I was thinking I'd be going to school in Winnipeg.
I need help making this decision. So here's the pros and cons list I've been advised to write.
Going to Asia PROS
- it pays good money (we're talking Roslyn good if you count everything), all travel costs and living expenses paid, room service, permanent hotel room to myself, financially a sound decision
- I've been needing to travel overseas
- potentially is a long-term career option, although not necessarily one I'd want, as it would keep me away from friends and family. The guys definitely want to do it for a long time
- it would just be a really cool experience.
- I'm young and unattached, really at the prime time to do this kind of thing. Although I feel strongly tied to Winnipeg, I don't have any actual responsibilities to hold me in Canada. It's not the kind of thing I could just decide to do a few years down the line.
Going to Asia CONS
- keeps me away from friends and family
- although the bandmates are all good folks, they're probably not best friend material for me personally
- is living in a hotel cool? it sounds cool. I've always wanted to. but maybe it gets old.
- it could make me miss out on a really great time with some really great friends, including Jordan Dueck, who I haven't seen in a year cause he's been in Ireland
- if I'm choosing it as being good for my career, what do I do when I decide to quit? What Canadian company has "experience touring with a cover band in asia" on their list of resume requirements?
- it could really set back the time frame for my continued education. if I want to take music therapy at CMU, which I think I do, I'd have to start in September, or not for another 2 years.
- being out of the country makes it hard to continue my own musical escapades that I'd like to do with Jeremy and Sheree
Touring with Sheremy PROS (as I call them when I get tired of saying Jer and Sheree)
- they're great friends/it'll be a really good time
- these folks are my closest musical partners at this point, and we have great plans for recording new albums together, part of which could possibly happen while on tour
Touring with Sheremy CONS
- the money will probably not be that great
- it could make me miss out on a cool opportunity to play music for a living and get paid to travel the world doing it
so... anybody have any advice? comments? More things to add to the PROS or CONS list? And let's try to keep the self-motivated advice to a minimum, shall we? ;)
So I have decisions to make. My good friends Jeremy Eisenhauer and Sheree Plett want me to tour with them all summer long for 3 months. mid-May to mid-August, from BC to Quebec and back. I really want to do this, and they really want me to do it. But, there's a conflict. There's this cover band based out of Vancouver that is planning on touring to Asia to play in ritsy hotels. I've been playing with them for about a month and they REALLY want me to be their keyboardist. They are planning on being ready to leave by June, and plan on doing this for quite a while. They'd go to one hotel for 3-4 months, come home for a several-week break, and then go out again to a different country. While at the hotel they'd be playing about 3 hours a night, 6 nights a week, with the rest being free time.
They might not actually leave by June though. They first have to get a promo video together, which would be done by the beginning of May if all goes well, and then an agent needs to book them a gig at their first hotel, and the agent could take 2-3 months to do that. They could conceivably not be leaving until August, but their goal is to leave in June. I've proposed to them that they just wait for me, since it's possible that they wouldn't leave until i'm back anyways, but they figure I would need to be around to practice with them anyways. So they're definitely asking me to NOT tour this summer. By the way, if I go with them, I'll be doing that for a while, I'm not sure how long. If I don't do it, I was thinking I'd be going to school in Winnipeg.
I need help making this decision. So here's the pros and cons list I've been advised to write.
Going to Asia PROS
- it pays good money (we're talking Roslyn good if you count everything), all travel costs and living expenses paid, room service, permanent hotel room to myself, financially a sound decision
- I've been needing to travel overseas
- potentially is a long-term career option, although not necessarily one I'd want, as it would keep me away from friends and family. The guys definitely want to do it for a long time
- it would just be a really cool experience.
- I'm young and unattached, really at the prime time to do this kind of thing. Although I feel strongly tied to Winnipeg, I don't have any actual responsibilities to hold me in Canada. It's not the kind of thing I could just decide to do a few years down the line.
Going to Asia CONS
- keeps me away from friends and family
- although the bandmates are all good folks, they're probably not best friend material for me personally
- is living in a hotel cool? it sounds cool. I've always wanted to. but maybe it gets old.
- it could make me miss out on a really great time with some really great friends, including Jordan Dueck, who I haven't seen in a year cause he's been in Ireland
- if I'm choosing it as being good for my career, what do I do when I decide to quit? What Canadian company has "experience touring with a cover band in asia" on their list of resume requirements?
- it could really set back the time frame for my continued education. if I want to take music therapy at CMU, which I think I do, I'd have to start in September, or not for another 2 years.
- being out of the country makes it hard to continue my own musical escapades that I'd like to do with Jeremy and Sheree
Touring with Sheremy PROS (as I call them when I get tired of saying Jer and Sheree)
- they're great friends/it'll be a really good time
- these folks are my closest musical partners at this point, and we have great plans for recording new albums together, part of which could possibly happen while on tour
Touring with Sheremy CONS
- the money will probably not be that great
- it could make me miss out on a cool opportunity to play music for a living and get paid to travel the world doing it
so... anybody have any advice? comments? More things to add to the PROS or CONS list? And let's try to keep the self-motivated advice to a minimum, shall we? ;)
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Fluster the Forward Guy
This is in response to a blog on Sister #2's blog, about overly forward guys. Girls, you already know plenty of guys who aren't overly forward, they're normal people who have normal insecurities and are scared of rejection. That's why they're not blunt; they're subtle in order to lessen the impact of the rejection, and if they see it coming they're likely to back down quick to further avoid it. With these normal people you usually dance around the issue and try not to hurt their feelings.
Understand that the overly forward people are not these normal people and should not be treated as such. They are not afraid of rejection. You might think that they're just stupid and are not getting your hints, but they are. They're just ignoring them and pushing past in the hopes that if they're persistent enough they'll beat your defence system. It works in the movies. And it apparently works with some girls as well.
For example, Ros, do you really think this guy didn't catch on that you weren't interested after arguing with him about whether you would pick him up? He probably figured out that his good looks weren't giving you enough reason to pick him up, but he was hoping on smooth-talk-convincing you that there were other good reasons, and that it wouldn't really mean anything. Then you'd be out with him, hopefully drinking, and he'd convince you it didn't mean anything to get down with him on the dance floor. And then you'd be his ride home, etc.
If you don't believe me, i've received emails on "how to succeed with women," and these guys play the percentages. The overly blunt and persistent approach works in a certain percentage of cases, so guys just have to try it out on enough girls, and eventually they'll score. These guys aren't interested in a long-term relationship at this point, so they're not looking at investing a bunch of time into getting to know somebody, especially not before next Friday. So their remaining winning strategy is to swing as many times as possible until they hit something.
This is where it gets fun though. These guys are used to striking out. Rejection isn't really personal for them at this point, it's just numbers. So take the opportunity to be creative in finding fantastic ways of telling them off. Try to set a record for how quickly you can be classified as the failure percentage. Be as blunt, if not more so, than they are. In this way Roslyn's response was so great. I can just see her getting indignant and telling this guy she doesn't even want him in the same building as she is going to be, much less in her car. Really great work there Ros. I didn't think it was mean at all.
Even if the guy isn't some playa you don't know at all, and is more like Cheryl's No Peripheral Vision Guy or Kimberly's Hopeful Young Bible School Guy, if they seem extremely dense and are not getting your hints, it's probably not that they're not getting them. Aren't you always amazed that they can be so dense? Well, be amazed no longer, they're actually just persistent, so make it easy on them by saving them a lot of time and effort. Be ruthless, for their sake, so that they get the picture! And then, for my, sake, take a picture! We should have a Fluster the Forward Guy Photo contest. Beleaguer the Blunt Guy? Whatever.
Understand that the overly forward people are not these normal people and should not be treated as such. They are not afraid of rejection. You might think that they're just stupid and are not getting your hints, but they are. They're just ignoring them and pushing past in the hopes that if they're persistent enough they'll beat your defence system. It works in the movies. And it apparently works with some girls as well.
For example, Ros, do you really think this guy didn't catch on that you weren't interested after arguing with him about whether you would pick him up? He probably figured out that his good looks weren't giving you enough reason to pick him up, but he was hoping on smooth-talk-convincing you that there were other good reasons, and that it wouldn't really mean anything. Then you'd be out with him, hopefully drinking, and he'd convince you it didn't mean anything to get down with him on the dance floor. And then you'd be his ride home, etc.
If you don't believe me, i've received emails on "how to succeed with women," and these guys play the percentages. The overly blunt and persistent approach works in a certain percentage of cases, so guys just have to try it out on enough girls, and eventually they'll score. These guys aren't interested in a long-term relationship at this point, so they're not looking at investing a bunch of time into getting to know somebody, especially not before next Friday. So their remaining winning strategy is to swing as many times as possible until they hit something.
This is where it gets fun though. These guys are used to striking out. Rejection isn't really personal for them at this point, it's just numbers. So take the opportunity to be creative in finding fantastic ways of telling them off. Try to set a record for how quickly you can be classified as the failure percentage. Be as blunt, if not more so, than they are. In this way Roslyn's response was so great. I can just see her getting indignant and telling this guy she doesn't even want him in the same building as she is going to be, much less in her car. Really great work there Ros. I didn't think it was mean at all.
Even if the guy isn't some playa you don't know at all, and is more like Cheryl's No Peripheral Vision Guy or Kimberly's Hopeful Young Bible School Guy, if they seem extremely dense and are not getting your hints, it's probably not that they're not getting them. Aren't you always amazed that they can be so dense? Well, be amazed no longer, they're actually just persistent, so make it easy on them by saving them a lot of time and effort. Be ruthless, for their sake, so that they get the picture! And then, for my, sake, take a picture! We should have a Fluster the Forward Guy Photo contest. Beleaguer the Blunt Guy? Whatever.
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