This is in response to a blog on Sister #2's blog, about overly forward guys. Girls, you already know plenty of guys who aren't overly forward, they're normal people who have normal insecurities and are scared of rejection. That's why they're not blunt; they're subtle in order to lessen the impact of the rejection, and if they see it coming they're likely to back down quick to further avoid it. With these normal people you usually dance around the issue and try not to hurt their feelings.
Understand that the overly forward people are not these normal people and should not be treated as such. They are not afraid of rejection. You might think that they're just stupid and are not getting your hints, but they are. They're just ignoring them and pushing past in the hopes that if they're persistent enough they'll beat your defence system. It works in the movies. And it apparently works with some girls as well.
For example, Ros, do you really think this guy didn't catch on that you weren't interested after arguing with him about whether you would pick him up? He probably figured out that his good looks weren't giving you enough reason to pick him up, but he was hoping on smooth-talk-convincing you that there were other good reasons, and that it wouldn't really mean anything. Then you'd be out with him, hopefully drinking, and he'd convince you it didn't mean anything to get down with him on the dance floor. And then you'd be his ride home, etc.
If you don't believe me, i've received emails on "how to succeed with women," and these guys play the percentages. The overly blunt and persistent approach works in a certain percentage of cases, so guys just have to try it out on enough girls, and eventually they'll score. These guys aren't interested in a long-term relationship at this point, so they're not looking at investing a bunch of time into getting to know somebody, especially not before next Friday. So their remaining winning strategy is to swing as many times as possible until they hit something.
This is where it gets fun though. These guys are used to striking out. Rejection isn't really personal for them at this point, it's just numbers. So take the opportunity to be creative in finding fantastic ways of telling them off. Try to set a record for how quickly you can be classified as the failure percentage. Be as blunt, if not more so, than they are. In this way Roslyn's response was so great. I can just see her getting indignant and telling this guy she doesn't even want him in the same building as she is going to be, much less in her car. Really great work there Ros. I didn't think it was mean at all.
Even if the guy isn't some playa you don't know at all, and is more like Cheryl's No Peripheral Vision Guy or Kimberly's Hopeful Young Bible School Guy, if they seem extremely dense and are not getting your hints, it's probably not that they're not getting them. Aren't you always amazed that they can be so dense? Well, be amazed no longer, they're actually just persistent, so make it easy on them by saving them a lot of time and effort. Be ruthless, for their sake, so that they get the picture! And then, for my, sake, take a picture! We should have a Fluster the Forward Guy Photo contest. Beleaguer the Blunt Guy? Whatever.
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29 comments:
Ha ha ha! This is great. Thanks Jer. I was starting to feel like maybe I was just being too mean, but you're totally right.
you ARE right.
and I'd like to add that if they happen to be from africa, all rules of niceness should immediately go out the window and you should endeavour to crush their spirit as soon and as harshly as possible.
otherwise it is immediately assumed that you will marry them and bear them lots of pretty babies and cook for them forever.
However, I’m not gonna lie to you guys, I generally look favourably upon the bold/honest approach. It’s so much better than the usual dancing awful uncertainty. Blunt is not bad, provided that it stays within the lines of polite behaviour....ie. not annoying/stupid like that other dude.
Persistence on the other hand, is not so much attractive, cuz no means no and all.
jeremy, when have i ever been called jon?!?!?!? i am requesting that you change our blog site on the right side of your screen to jonathan and kimberly, not jon and kimberly. it's atrocious!! it's not even my name. you're going to confuse a lot of people, making them think that kimberly is married to some shmo named jon.
Thanks for the advice Rebs and the same goes for guys in Latin America
haha, this is the one place where I can get away with it and bug the crap out of you jonathan, and i think i'll continue doing so. I also called Kimberly Kim, so if anybody's gonna get confused, they're gonna think it's two completely different people.
hehe,
very amusing. The grand thing is that I think most girls see through the dancing around stuff too. It's wierd, because sometimes persistence DOES work, even outside the movies, and in a good way. But it's definitely a different kind than the one Roslyn shared with us.
Oh I can see how persistence would win out. It's a little scary too cause I'm pretty sure this guy's approach DOES work on a lot of girls. And he's one shower, two teeth, and one large bottle of valtrex away from being quite good-looking, so I think it works for him quite a bit.
Roz said: "And he's one shower, two teeth, and one large bottle of valtrex away from being quite good-looking."
Why am I picturing some guy from Deliverance?
I dont' know what deliverance is
i'm calling everybody to boycott jeremy's blog, until he gets my name right. why would you want to bug me? that's just malicious!!
puzzle the pushy guy? confound the candid guy? distress the direct guy? I like the sounds of this contest.
It would just be hard to actually get a picture of it you know...you'd have to carry a camera around all the time and all
Oh, there's no way I'm boycotting Jeremy's blog.
i call for a counter boycott on Jonathan's blog until he calls off the boycott on my blog. Whoever heard of a blogcott amongst friends? Now that's malicious.
whoever heard of using blog to purposely distress your friend by calling him by a name he hates? I’m with jonathan on this one – that’s just awful, jeremy. At least call them jpunk5 and kimbee if you want to shorten their names – these are names that they themselves have approved. Or just call it the Toews blog or something. No need to irk your friends.
If you can call such a name-abusive friendship a real friendship.
i think everyone's beeing a bit to dramatic here. Can't we just comprimise? Jer doesnt distress jonathan, jonathan does call all out boycotts of blogs. Plus i noticed in his last comment jeremy called him jonathan so he doens't even have anything to complain about.
except that the shortcut to his blog is still under 'jon'. it's kind of hideous.
thankyou!! i agree with rebakah. i'll call off the boycott if you correct our names, but in the meantime...boycott still on!!
thank you. anonymous is fine. boycott off!!
hahaha...burly!
you don't know how true that is, Jeremy, the last PAPM, we were all VERY impressed with the pipes on that girl.
you're moderating your comments??
weird.
haha. Last night I was talking with Nathan and we had run into a friend of ours named John earlier that day. So Nathan said something about Jonathan and I forget what but i knew it wasn't Jonathan Toews so i said "who's Jonathan?" and then nathan got all flustered and said you know all these jons and jonathans should just be allowed to be called interchangably!
i think kimberly may take offence to the "burly" thing. she may call a boycott. just giving you fair warning.
WHERE IS MY COMMENT??!?!
a POX on your comment moderation!
i call a boycott on all the boycott calling. at least around this blog. that's what the comment moderation was for, no comments with calls for boycotts were gonna be allowed. but that idea mysteriously got the pox.
Good call on dumping it, you wouldn't want to catch the pox. Especially Rebekah's pox.
Whoa! Well, what the crap is going on here!?! Firstly, Rebs, I may be muscularly endowed, but never burly! Burly means a hairy chested lumber jack in my mind. And Jonathan, when I asked you if there was anything exciting going on in the blog world you said there was nothing. THIS IS SOMETHING!!!! You commented on that on March 6, therefore you have kept this information from me for 2 whole days. I expect an apology. And Jeremy, I have nothing to say to you at this time. Just think long and hard about what you have done (especially to Jonathan).
uh oh. i am seriously concerned about what i have done.
tom, did you just imply that I have the pox?
that's what I'm inferring here.
Kimberly, though I think your overreaction was...an overreaction...I apologize for approving of 'burly'. I looked it up, and yes, it usually means large as well as muscular.
but you still are muscle-woman.
guys, wouldn't it be terrible if we got into a huge blog fight and then suddenly weren't friends anymore???
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